The Silent Reality
A single poem started an entire career of endless adventures, possibilities, and creativity
(If you are interested in my childhood check out the A.K. Square Cookie Man series.)
When I was thirteen my Mom told me to write a poem She didn't care what is was about but she wanted one finished by the time she returned home. If there was any trouble Granddad was working around the farm. I remember sitting down and Stupid Boy from Keith Urban's Greatest Hits cd was playing in the stereo when sparks of a poem began forming. By the time My Mom returned home The Unspoken Side had been penned.
Before then I never realized I had a craft or passion for writing. I can become an author as a side job to being a baker! I was really excited and it was going to come out right away not knowing how much work it was to release a book. The next thing I remember writing was a short story called Two Worlds. This is a rejected story I would share at farmers' Markets back when I was 13 and excited about being an author.
Some of these poems and short stories came out of really random moments like A Life To Live was my first attempt of writing a song after reading the lyrisc to Enya's song Lazy Days. Once A Friend Now An Enemy was written shortly after and I view them as sister/twin poems if that makes any sense. This was sometime when I was around fourteen/fifteen. One thing I wanted to figure out at the time was lyric writing and even picked up a book book at the library a time or two.
When I turned sixteen a single story and poem comes to mind that I wrote in that year. Understanding Life Through a Bottle and Trial of Pain. I remember sitting at my computer this poem not knowing the direction it was going. It wasn't until the final line "Afraid to open up I take another bottle and another drink." This line gave me chills. I didn't know this was about alcoholism until I wrote the final line, I had tears streaming down my face and this really hit me. This was in 2010 and Pascha was bedridden at the time. She looked over and saw me crying and I gave her quite a fright because it's not what you would expect to come from writing a specific line in a poem.
Trial of Pain was my dedication to the caregiving of Pascha during 2010 and is one of the few "true" stories from personal experiences. I will say some stories like Trial of Pain and The Unspoken Side are written from personal experiences but not all of them.
While tapping into many of the emotions and trying to find the words to explain the heartache, rage, self-loathing, self-refection, pretty well any emotion I was able to tap into and define. I do find it exhausting.
A Fading Recollection is a very interesting story in this book that I read recently. For anyone that doesn't know my Grandmother endured dementia and my family dedicated our lives to making her as comfortable, living at home until her passing. I wrote this story about caretaking back when I was a teenager. It's at least 11 years before I stepped into the role I wrote about. After completely forgetting and not reading this book for many years. I have to say it's very accurate to how my it would describe those four years. Dedication and drive to honor them, the only point I'd emphasize more is the weight of difficulty but even still it was so real it moved me to tears. Yehovah provoked me to write this in hopes to help others which I'm aware it has. Even a story to astonish myself in the future.
The cover of this book was taken on our peaceful farm by my talented artist Pascha Hansen. A special little spot of property that I love. As the years have passed the tree has fallen and died. The rocks still stand and I believe another tree is now in it's place. With Trafford I requested the cover to have a lightening bolt to cross the cover for one half of the cover to be in colour and the other in greyscale. Another point being I wanted this book to have a purple overtone. The result I received was good.
After it's release and the coming release Green Pea, "Not A Home For Me!" only a few months later. My Anthology in some ways disappeared among the collection of picture books. From 2012 to this day. People walking by disregard it as a children's book or for just disinterest in general. At times bringing it up with strong decline to the idea of poetry. Overall its been a sort of buffer reference. People walk up to my table and say, "I don't have any kids." So I direct them to The Silent Reality saying it isn't for children. A recent response I had to displaying this single anomaly in my collection was. "I don't have any kids." I know full well it's a niche that isn't for everyone, and rightfully so. To such an extent I even found myself disregarding this books presence. I know it's an occasional steady seller but clearly overlooked with it's stand alone style, format, and concept. It actually took years before even I took a moment and treated it more seriously. I still remember my mom telling me about her phone phone call with someone that read my book. They couldn't believe how hard my life must have been to write like this. I personally say I've really had a good life, and overall a good childhood. I knew it was decent reception for anyone that gave it a chance.
Apart from a few people liking/impressed with the content I never thought much about it. I wasn't until after years passed personal testimonies came forward about how this book changed their lives. I was blown away from some people's journeys and how they say this book helped them in hardship, grief, and even becoming an introduction to becoming an avid reader themselves. How did teenage me provoke such a change in others?
I never expected this sort of response. Especially since I trained myself to be mentally prepared for others to hate it and brace for impact. I would tell myself, "Not everyone is going to love it and that's o.k. You need to accept that." I haven't had a whole lot of negative response from this book but I remember being at a family reunion and The Silent Reality being passed around the table of relatives. One relative openly, publicly, and loudly reading laughing and mocking The Unspoken Side poem at our table. Over the years this poem sets people into two different camps. Those that fully understand it and those that smile and nod. It's a reaction you can't fake and I've seen both many times over the years.
There's a really cool detail The Silent Reality turns 16 years old the last few weeks have been a parallel to my first year of publishing. We first released The Silent Reality (Oct. 25/2011) followed by Green Pea, "Not A Home For Me!" shortly after. We recently released Green Pea, "Not A Home For Me!" Intended Vision and shortly after released The Silent Reality 2 The Secret Truth. Book ending 15 years of stories and adventures between a mirror of nearly identical releases.
Thank you for you time
Chance Hansen
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